Who I Was
by bookgirl111
Summary: P 1 of 3 'Screaming I wake up from the dream, only to find that it wasn't a dream. I was still in this black room still trapped.Thinking back, I realized how foolish I was back then, so happy and free without a care in the world, how foolish of me that was.I regret all of it now.If only... Dreams are dreams, nightmares are nigthmares. A dream can not become a nightmare. Or can it'


**AN: Warning! This is one of three piece of the "Who" series (all of them are one-shots) they're will me mentions of torture, sexual abuse, Riku x Sora (although that's the bad :3), and much more. The main character will change each time first Kairi then Namine, and finally Xion.**

**This has been inspired by a friend (who shall not be mentioned) series of dreams over each night. What caused theses dreams I really do not know. But if you read all of them then maybe you'll pick up the theme that I got when she told this story. **

**Do realize that despite this one being rated T, the next one will be M, and I am not too sure about the last one but it might be T or M. **

**And lastly don't be afraid to review~**

**Sincerely, bookgirl111**

"Who I Was"

"_Dreams are dreams. Nightmares are nightmares. Dreams cannot become nightmares. This is not a dream, this is not a nightmare. No matter what…_

"Come over here." A voice said. "Hurry up."Another spoke. "Come on." Added another.

Pictures flashing everywhere, broken images, fragments of videos, and broken audio.

Beach,  
Friends,  
Lovers,  
Shadow,  
Man,  
Chloroform,  
Handkerchief,  
Screaming,  
Van,  
Blood,  
Pathway,  
Darkness,  
Black,  
Pain,  
Scars,

_Screaming I wake up from the dream, only to find that it wasn't a dream. I was still in this black room still trapped. Thinking back, I realized how foolish I was back then, so happy and free without a care in the world, how foolish of me that was. I regret all of it now. If I had known this was to come then I would have spent my last days in happiness not pain. If only I…_

"…**Don't forget it…"**

**-LINE-LINE-LINE-LINE-LINE-**

There once was a far red-headed maiden... She was adored through all of the islands. Her home laid upon the perfect tan beaches where the pure salt water met the land with tender kisses. Her blue eyes held so much innocence back then... so much light...

But now as I stare into those said eyes and all I see is the reflection of fear, followed by emptiness... Once she was our peoples "light", but now she is nothing but a doll of our princess, a doll of the person she was once was.

Blue eyes stare back at me like glass.

Heavy footsteps come down the hallway onto the tile floors... heavy just like _his_ was. But she doesn't even react. The only way you can tell she's even alive is because her head tilts in the direction of the footsteps before her chest shows real signs of rising and falling, then by her moving her eyes towards the floor.

The footsteps draw closer and closer, till they stop. The figure appears and reveals pale skin with blue hair and a lab coat.

"Dr. Zexion," I say turning my head towards him.

He nods his head before addressing me, "Sora," and then addressing the girl in the room beyond the glass, "Namine Hikari."

As soon as I hear those words my mind goes blank, clutching my hands I hold back my tears. A feathered touch brushes over my shoulder causing me to flinch. Turning my head I see silver hair framing sad teal eyes.

"It's alright Sora." Riku says his hand now gripping my shoulder. A single tear falls from my eye and a word falls from my lips...

"Kairi..."

But I know that she is dead, and a new person has taken her body and place...

Red hair, blond hair,  
Tan skin, pale skin,  
Innocent, fear,  
Blue eyes of completely different shades,  
Kairi, Namine...

**- TWO YEARS AGO-**

_- A seeks sea of light green and fields of blue, pinks, purples, and none all consisting underneath a sky of bright teal with shells for clouds. Floating in all of it was a small child with a petite figure. Her plump baby fat face was framed by short locks of red, her body was dressed in a large creamy-toned nightgown._

_- Bare feet pranced across the fluffy bottom of the sea as she dances with the current. Laughter fills the air, some of it hers, others not._

_- But the peace doesn't last for long..._

_- A evil laughter fills the air like thunder, and lightning strikes the sky with black that soon inks the rest away. The sea becomes rough and dangerous. The shells towering high above fall fast towards the world below._

_- The child so innocent and sweet is drowning in her own dream..._

_- The world goes black._

"-ri! Kairi! Kairi! Wake up sleepy head! Kairi! Don't make me come in there! Come on, you're going to be late for school! Kairi!" a loud voice calls in the distance.

Opening my eyes I look and notice that I am facing my bedroom window again, through it I can see the sky is still darkened, the ocean glows on the horizon.

Getting up, I walk over to the window and open it. As if all of a sudden my senses are flooded with the ocean. Its salty scent, cool breeze, humid touch, and sound of the waves kissing the beach, along with the sand of the early morning animals.

Closing my eyes for a brief moment I forgot about everything _–school, time, my parent's death, and my broken heart._

But it didn't last for long since a loud knock came to my door followed by a calm voice: "Kairi it's time to get up, today's the first day of the new semester. And you know being tardy will not look good for you."

Sighing, I pick up my crushed heart and move towards the door. Opening it I am welcomed by a flash of silver [the sliver that _he_ so adores], teal ocean eyes [the ones that _he_ loves], and then the strong muscular body [the ones that only _he_ thinks of].

"Hi Riku." I say looking away from him, unable to see look at the very person who stole my first and only love.

"Kairi…"he starts trying to collect his thoughts before continuing, "I know that you probably hate me for what happened over the summer. But understand that it shouldn't be any reason to take it out on Sora –or school for that matter."

Just hearing his voice seems to make my ears bleed and my heart weep. But I know what he says is true –it can't be taken out on school or Sora.

Sora…

Why did I have to fall in love with him? I knew from the beginning that he liked Riku –heck the first time he told me was when we were five years old.

That's the only reason why we were so close –in his eyes I was like a sister he never had. But in the public's eye somehow he was a sly lovesick puppy in love with me. Back then that had been enough for me and my growing feelings. But when Sora told me that he was going to admit his feelings to Riku... I woke up and raked the reality around me. Of course those days of me hiding the truth were going to end. Of course he is still in love with Riku. Of course.

A small touch brings me back to reality. Looking up I can see the worry in Riku's eyes.

"I'll go get redressed, make sure Sora doesn't eat all of the pancakes for me, 'k?"

A small twitch moves his mouth upward and he nods, "Don't take forever your highness." he comments and then retreats down the hallway, leaving me all alone. Closing the door I walk over to also chose my window. As I do, I notice a shadow lurching in the bushes, and a strange chill runs down my spine freezing the heart for a moment.

Blinking I look back at the area and find it empty, pulling the blinds I quickly pull on my school uniform. As I do suddenly memories of the last time I wore this outfit flood into me causing me to sit down. Breathing in I try to stop them but I can't, tears swell up in my eyes as the past comes to my eyes in the present.

**- EARLIER THAT YEAR -**

"Sora, are you sure? I mean if you tell Riku the truth now, he could end up hating up for the rest of your life. And even if you try to avoid him, we all live in the same orphanage, it's just not gonna work. It would be easier safer to wait." I pleaded to Sora as he walked outside of the school.

All over the place people were chatting away with smile on their faces, but why wouldn't they? Today is the last day of the semester, and summer vacation had just started.

"I have to, Kairi" Sora said gripping his hands together into a pair of fists, a determined look on his face.

Sighing, I look at him once more, his brown locks sticking out everywhere, his childish face pulled together in a fighting face, his eyes filled with the flame of determination. And now he's made up his mind –no more hesitation. "Don't hesitate." I whisper to him, giving him my biggest smile, tilting my head to the side, holding in all of my tears as I silently cheer him onward.

A huge smile grows across his face as he nods, and waves goodbye to me. Returning with a small smile I point in the direction of the school's library sending him a silent message.

Turning away I walk towards the school gates trying to keep my resolve strong. But the moment I cross over the gate, it feels like I've crossed over into the afterlife. A shiver runs down my spine. My left leg feels a sudden burden. Placing my hands into my skirts pocket –I feel it. Taking it at I can see that it's my lucky charm, the one I made with Sora so long ago –just for this very day.

My body moves on its own against my will, and before I know it I'm running across the courtyard, my charm in hand towards the library. Opening the big double doors, I look around desperately when I see a flash of silver. Rushing I reach a bookshelf in the far left, where Riku dressed in his school uniform is stacking up books. His face is turned from me and facing the shelf.

A flash of blue eyes can be seen at the other end of the shelf, peeking from behind the bookcase –like me, is Sora, with his nervous face and all. Pulling from my hiding spot I walk down the bookcase quietly and tap Sora on the shoulder. He visibly jumps before turning around to face me.

Taking his palm I place the charm into it while giving him a peck on the forehead, and whispered to him, "Good luck," and then turned him around and gave him a light push. "Go get him."

Nodding he takes a deep breath and walks and the corner to were Riku –the target is.

Walking over to the middle of the row I sit down placing a hand over my heart as I hear their conversation with only one thought going through my head. _'He's really going to do this, he's really going to do this.'_

That was the day my heart was crushed is the shadow of the two of them kissing.

**- PRESENT TIME -**

Walking down the stairs the intoxicating smell of pancakes, blueberries, and bacon welcomes me. I enter then kitchen/dining room and take the left seat at the end that has the name _Kairi_ painted across the seat in pink with purple flowers. It had been painted years ago when I first came to the islands and lived in the orphanage.

Despite having moved out when I was adopted they still kept it nevertheless. And two years ago when my foster family passed away and I moved back, they brought it back down from the attic for me.

_They_ both walked in to serve breakfast, blueberry and regular pancakes along with bacon. When everyone was served _they_ all sat down at the other end of the table and said grace. Across from me sat Sora who was as cheerful as ever, and next to me at the end sat Riku who just sighed at Sora's poor table manners. Giggling a bit, a warm fuzzy feeling was made in my gut allowing me to forget all of the bad things for a short while.

This caused Sora to almost choke in shock and Riku to look amused as both of us gave Sora a knowing look. Finishing the last of my blueberry pancakes and piece of bacon I scrape the plate, rinse, and load it before I run upstairs.

Grabbing my black leather bag I hold it open and make sure everything is in it before I run down stairs and go for the foyer. In the foyer there are cubbies, where everyone's shoes are placed. Grabbing my school shoes from the fourth row cubby I wait outside for Riku and... Sora.

After a moment Riku joins me and gives me a silent smile before facing the open road and together we enjoyed the open breeze. Sora opens the door loudly and hops on one foot while he tries to put a shoe on and catch up with us. I giggle at how despite the past few weeks Sora is still the same old goofy Sora. But as we fall into pace with the walk to school I notice these changes between their relationship and our friendship.

Usually Sora would be flustered to stand next to Riku the whole time so I would stand in the middle with Ri on one side and Sor on the other. But now the two are glued together with me casted off to the side or behind them. Even their aura, was different, sure Sora's still a bundle of sunshine and seems to light up the space, but Riku was showing me a different side of Sora who was generally calmer in a sense. And speaking of Riku he sure was smiling a lot more than he did before, even if they were small ones. It was these small changes that seemed b make me uneasy and nervous.

And that lasted until we, or rather Sora and Riku with me falling behind, reached the school grounds. There were faces familiar and old all over. Looking up at where Sora and Riku were I saw Wakka and Tidus greeting them along with Selphie sitting down on the bench next to them fiddling with something. I sighed at how something's didn't change and walked over to the bench and sat next to her.

"Hi." I say shocked at how smooth my voice came out as despite my uneasiness.

"HI!" Selphie greeted looking up from her lap where she was folding something.

"What up doing?" I asked politely pointing at the paper in her hands.

"Origami~" She said in a sing a-long voice as she folded the paper again, and again, and again until she said ''Finished!" and held it up for me to see it properly.

"Wow," I complimented her holding the piece of paper that seemed to be in the shape of some type of bird. "What is it?" I asked curiously.

"The paper crane! I'm gonna fold a thousand of them and get a wish granted." She explained looking over at the boys, more particularly Tidus.

"You know you could just always confess to him." I told her with a word of advice.

"I know, but I don't think he'll like me back that way, just the other day I asked him what I was to him and he said a little sister." She explained glumly. "Plus there's no way I'll be as lucky as Sora."

"Yeah, lucky..." I whispered to myself.

"But hey," she said all chipper again. "Let's leave the boys and go get or schedules for the semester." she offered, and with one last took at Sora and Riku I accepted.

**- TIME SKIP BEFORE HOMEROOM -**

Walking in, I sat down at a desk near a window on the left side of the room in the second row. Placing my bag down I look over my schedule for the semester again. First period-Geometry with Mrs. M, second-art with Mr. Xaldin, Spanish-Mr. Pico for 3rd, 4th is US History with Mr. John Smith, lunch, 5-Drama with Mrs. Daisy Duck, 6 is AP Earth Space science with Professor Max and seventh period is Mr. Xehanort with English II honors. Once satisfied that I know my schedule I put it away with my planner and wait for homeroom to start. Then after a moment or two the bell rings making late students rush through the door in hopes of beating their teachers.

But that is also when he walks in, Mr. Xehanort. Although I never had him personally his reputation is well known as _'creepy'_. And I heard it wasn't just his looks that fit the profile, although gold eyes, pure white hair, and tan skin, with the hunch of his back while he walks does seem scary; it's also said that he's known for talking in riddles and giving off a vibe that could kill.

"Welcome..." he says in a brisk voice that echo's in my ears, "honored students for this semester and the remainder of the year I will be your homeroom teacher and for a few your English I teacher. Now let us call roll so we might begin our day." he finish with his eyes roaming across the classroom never stopping until they pause at me, causing me to stiffen and him to smirk as a reaction. For some reason in that moment I felt shivers run down my spine and my chest became heavy.

It was when he started to call roll call that I let at a breath of air that I didn't even know I was holding. Looking out the window I lost myself for a few moments in the bright blue sky that maimed me so, too look at. Blue... sky blue... Sora blue, Sora's eyes...

"Kairi Hikari," A voice like the devil himself said making my heart squeeze and throb in pain, after a delayed answer I said, "Present." in the loudest nice I could muster while raising my hand trying to hid my fear. Although I don't believe anyone else heard it I could swear I heard him say, "But of course" in a tone I could not identify but still never the less scared me.

In all honesty I was not looking forward to seventh period.

**- TIME SKIP ONE WEEK LATER -**

–_A evil laughter fills the air like thunder, and lightning strikes the sky with a poisonous ink that blackens everything in its path making the waves sickening green and ooze the color of violet steal away all life._

– _Then-_

Shooting open my ages, cold sweat runs down my eyes and cheeks along with a handful of tears. Exhaling, inhaling, my chest deeply I look around my room aimlessly when suddenly my sight stops on my window.

Opening it I look up upon the night sky and stare at the crescent moon. An itch reaches through my legs and before I knew it I was sneaking down the stairs and out of the house.

The cool sand welcomed my bare feet in the chilly night air as the dark sea meets the now seemingly glowing sand. My breathing has calmed much since my nightmare and just by standing here I feel much better.

It's now been a week since school started and somehow despite my feelings I am now able to hang out with Riku and Sora. And suddenly it seems as though Riku and I are in charge of teasing Sora instead of me and Sora against Riku. Subconsciously I place a hand on my heart as I let my thoughts run across the sea.

'_It's getting easier now to breathe and think of... Sora.'_ I tell myself as I self evaluate.

"But still sometimes it's **hard**." Another nice whispers from my heart and it was true although Riku and Sora keep the romance level down when I'm around I can't even begin to count the number of times I found them kissing when their alone.

_-In the halls-behind the gym-the library-beaches-Riku's bedroom-and so many more places I rather not remember._

Sighing I shake my head and begin to climb back up the sand and am making my way back to the house when a... a shadow casts over mine. A rough hand is suddenly around my mouth with a piece of white cloth panicking I struggle as another one grabs my waist and lifts me up.

The images in my head blur as whatever I was given sinks in. I barely stay awake as I am carried to some sort of vehicle and thrown into the back of a van before I am tied up...

Gold eyes... A smirk... of pure evil

My eyes grow to heavy to even comprehended sight… and the world goes black.

~End~

**AN: I sincerely hope that you enjoyed it, I understand that it is a cliffhanger but that is the point. The next one has not been started and I am open to any ideas you might have in the troche measurement to get it going. The second one will probably be no more than 3,000 and closer to 5,000 words in all possibility.**

**Lastly don't be afraid to look into my other works or send a review. Flamers will be accepted because they only inspire me to work even harder to prove them wrong (but that still doesn't make them okay). Also I am okay with threats, I send them and receive them daily in my life from friends and my siblings.**

**Sincerely until next time, bookgirl111**

**P.S. you can also PM me if you want ;3**


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